the mysterious rose garden
chapala, a city near guadalajara that i visited with some friends last saturday
being silly at the salsa/cuban bar
whats crackalackin?
well it's saturday morning in guadalajara and the sun is shining, the birds are singing, the world is aliveeee...
actually i am just kidding about the birds. all i can hear is the swishy wushy of the washing machine.
i am feeling a little less creative these days as all my brain juices are being used to learn the wonderful language of espanol, this entry may not be as exciting as the first but it's been while since ive updated this baby and and it is about time.
I am currently sitting in the sun on the cement roof of mi casa. i don't know why but whenever I come up here I climb out my window instead of taking the door. it's more fun. i feel as though my host family would think im a little strange if they knew, but no matter.
today i don't have anything specific to report but an array of thoughts, reports, and facts about this city, its people, and my life.
i will start with this.
every day I awake to the sound of bells from something somewhere nearby. I assume it is a church, but one day maybe ill follow the noise just in case it happens to be an obnoxious 70 year old man who happens to own some loud pots and pans and likes to wake up the neighbourhood for kicks. that's be fun. i generally believe in keeping my eyes peel for surprises however i just looked straight ahead and from this roof I can see a bell tower... should i re-evaluate this belief? nah.
i quietly jump out of my bed so as not to wake the sleeping ten year old beneath me (Ivannia), go to the kitchen, and make a clasic breakfast of rice, honey, rice milk, and sometimes almonds (as most of you know i am on a weird diet where I can eat only certain things and here in mexico the only grain i can find to eat is rice... so ohh baby, rice it is again!). I then walk for about 2 (ha) minutes with Oliver, another student who lives here, to the language school. From 8 until 2 I struggle to keep up with students who are much more advanced than i without having my teachers notice how out of the loop i am. two days ago my morning teacher noticed. it was funny. so i tried the lower level but it was much to easy. there is no middle-ground for me so i'm going to stick with the tough level.
after school there are a number of things i might find myself doing. first i make lunch- usually some sort of beans with vegetables... ussually camote (sweet potato). after lunch (which is ussually around 3 or 4) i procrastinate for the rest of the day ( i dont like homework) by doing the following sorts of activities:
-climbing up here to the roof and painting for hours with my friends
-dancing (steve erkle style) on the roof with my friends
-going to parks and playing soccer
-getting lost walking this city
-going to the gym and pretending to work out (ha ha ha...ive never had a gym membership before and i probably wont again, who am i kidding- i cant exercise inside. that is if can exercise at all...i just hope i dont get smog-induced lung cancer from running outside)
-going to movies
-going to bars and drinking martinis/beer/nothing... listening to jazz/mariachi music
-not going to bars and sleeping instead and/or talking to the beautiful child that i share a room with...
I had my first salsa lesson Thursday night, and wow- i am not naturally coordinated. i am not sure what i think about trying to force myself to learn something my body so obviously sucks at but for the sake of mexico, i will give it a solid try.
now my thoughts. i have been thinking lately that i know myself more than i thought i ever could. maybe this is a strange thing to say, i mean i am myself so why wouldn't i know who i am... but there are people that go to the ends of the earth to find themselves, and i thought i was one of them. but i'm not. i am here out of the pure joy and exhilaration there is to be had by trying to understand a foreign humanity. i am here because this is just one of a million places where a little extra love is needed and that the realities of poverty are impossible to ignore in this place.
yet there are so many things i am struggling to understand about that (poverty).
everyone's homes are significantly gated here and having neighborly love is just as foreign a concept as i've seen it be in canada. the community in the house i live in is beautiful and i feel very blessed to be where i am; but i haven't met my neighbours yet...
i question myself everyday on what i am doing here. i want to volunteer and get into the core of why i really come to places such as these. so far nothing has worked out. it is also because i am afraid. and many times i catch myself thinking, "well i don't have time".. but really, who the hell has time?
my friend knows of an orphanage a few hours away and we will probably be going there some weekends which i am very excited for. i want to be reminded of why i love and believe in love. love is a necessity of life. sometimes i forget that.
a friend here reminded me during a two hour walk home from a bar that we just weren't enjoying that if i truly was who i say i want to be i would sell all my things, hop on a bus, and go live with the poor. i know that. i ask myself "why not?" everyday... i ask myself why i cant just put all my faith in jesus that ever day he will provide...
so im working on that.
however, in the meantime i am still being my simple self.
i understand that when i am in a sophisticated bar drinking a martini that it is necessary for me to kick of my shoes and sit cross-legged- very unsophisticated-like. i understand that when a bunch of other exchange students are going out to the bars yet again, that i won't have that much fun so i often don't go. i understand that i will sit and people watch, and wonder exactly what sort of fun people call this... and also wonder why it feels so much like i am in highschool again. i understand that being silly and finding friends that i can laugh all day long with is all i truly desire.
andddd i understand mexico time!!! (being late for everything)
-- getting lost in the hours and getting lost in the city i have had some beautiful moments. i have stumbled upon rose gardens and beggars, sad clowns and couples kissing shamelessly in the park.
some cars here have built in whistles so often when walking around i will be caught completely off gaurd by the mechanic whistling. however, i am never flattered. the attitude that some men have towards women is disgusting, frightening, and confusing so all those feelings come to surface when a mexican man looks at my white woman skin and yells, "barbie."
f. off por favor.
but that's not to say that all mexican men are like that and as with every culture there is a balance. lucky for me i have been fortunate enough to befriend several very respectful and beautiful mexican male-souls that remind me not to be dismiss their demographic. and i usually choose to believe that people can be a product of their culture, therefore i place only careful and selective blame in individuals.
in conclusion what i would like to say is that people are people wherever you go and that it has been beautiful for me to realize that my silliness does not have to be relinquished here.
so yes, i am comfortable in my own skin here and yes, i am not going to shave my legs very often here... if that's what your asking.
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