an adventure across mexico- horses, fireworks, and a million colours

All this beauty;
You might have to close your eyes
And slowly open wide
All this beauty;
We traveled all night
We drank the ocean dry
And watched the sun rise...
-the weepies







hola amigos!
although in a weakened state due to sickness (no surprise if you know me and my luck with health) i love where i am at. i've explained this to some friends, but i will explain again.

in my living and in my life thus far I have existed in two very different frames of mind. one is a mindset that is not conducive in the least to introspection due to busyness, sickness, indifference, boredom, angst, etc. i didn't know that mindset could exist until i started growing up a bit. the other, where I am now and where i spent the majority of my childhood, is an existence with a mind that has an insatiable desire to write every question, thought, and strand of imaginative matter that floats my way. (those of you who have seen the size of my headwaters journal, that is what i am talking about). in the extreme of this i begin to narrate every aspect of my life as i live it. It makes me feel like some sort of amateur author, and i can't lie, i love it!

i have been longing to re-enter the mindset of constant narration and critical observation, a mindset i thought i'd lost touch with at the end of grade 12 after a wonderfully patient time in my life. and maybe it is too early to say but a part of me thinks i might be slipping down the wonderful mind-slide into that sometimes challenging, sometimes lonely, but generally exhilarating place. yes!

friends and fam, your kind emails and encouragements (and your worried tears... janine, i hope the canadian consulate knows im fine) have been moving and oh-so-uplifting in these past couples days. i owe you, so here's the scoop from then till now. and i tell in stories so i hope you like stories. happy reading!

with the words of a good friend in mind, "It's only pain", "it's only pain", 'it's only pain" playing like a broken record in my weary mind i have been able to endure the past few days of horrible sickness. (yes carelynn you said that)

my adventure across mexico with Janine and another girl named Julie, an adventure i was so sincerely enjoying was cut short by weakness and pain that ever so suddenly chained me to a bed in a jungle hostel. now, instead of adventuring a country by bus, i will adventure it with words.

so here's a story for you about a grand adventure across mexico, a few surmountable misfortunes, and a million colours I had almost forgotten existed.

day 1, dec 28
at 430 in the morning on december 28 (the day of my departure from canada) it was one of my dogs (skinny jay as opposed to dieting abby) who made me feel a particular punch in the face for leaving. unsure why I wanted to go, but confident that i would know soon, i told him (in the way that you tell a dog something), "cheer up pal... and i'll tell the mexican strays you say hi".
then after going through the gate and waiting for 30 minutes for my plane i felt it again. i looked up and saw my parents smiling and waving through the glass window above me.
and i felt sorry for leaving, i still do, but i silently said "peace out beautiful everything, mexico is calling"

i had a layover in Chicago of only 40 minutes, and my plane there was late so I rushed awkwardly (i'm not a rusher, okay) through the airport and luckily caught my flight. sadly mi maleto, bag, didn't quite make the transfer.

in mexico after watching that stupid whatchamacallit-thing, conveyer belt, for an hour not reveal my luggage i decided maybe i should ask (duh eh, but really when you are not at all confident in the spanish language and have no idea how to say what you need in english how are you supposed to boldly march up to anyone and say "yo, i need some help"). my new friend who sat beside me on the plane was also luggage-less so we went to the desk to ask about it. they said it would be here tomorrow, same time.
we said, "we are not here tomorrow"
do you have a telephone number
no
do you have an address
no
tomorrow it is then.

by this time i was very late meeting janine and julie so i hurried out of the airport with my backpack (heavy because i brought my textbook/book/journal/computer) and mandolin

janine was no where to be found. i bought a phone card and tried to call her. the phone card didnt work. with the help of a kind mexican lady the phone card worked but the number didn't work. just as i was holding the phone i heard a "BETHANY" and turn to find a janine hugging me. it was wonderful.

janine gave me an address to get them to send the bag to although i really needed my "drugs" (supplements and such for my silly stomach).

meh, ill get it eventually...

with not much in the way of clothes but the clothes i was wearing (too many for a day-hot mexico city) we left the airport.

my first mexico experience was of the subway in mexico city, talk about instant immersion!
it was sweet. janine was pro with the subway. scratch that, she was pro at everything we needed (she says she couldnt have done it without her "let's go mexico" book but nonetheless she has superhuman powers. anyone who knows her already knows that...)

gawking like every new traveller at the sights and sounds and smells of mexico i was disappointed when it got dark and i could no longer see the mexico id been getting to know. janine, julie, and i had wanted to go south to puerto escondido (surfer paradise, or so i read somewhere), but there were no buses so we decided to go somewhere entirely different, puebla.

julie scored us a ride to our hostel from the girl she was sitting next to on the bus... and that ride to a hostel turned into two days of generous hospitality, personal tours around the city, and free accommodation.

when we got off the bus we got in the car with this girl, christina, and her friend, eduardo.
side note/ mini soap opera for you: eduardo later revealed his undying love for christina... when she left for work one day he said something like "christina is the keeper of my time, now that she's busy where do you want to go?"... he told us there were "complications", and perhaps he detailed them and janine didnt care to translate, but i think not. christina one night asked us what we looked for in a guy and after telling her we asked her and she said "blahh, blahh, tall, blahh blahh..." at the word tall (alta) we looked at each other and quietly snickered, because eduardo is anything but tall. ha oh bittersweet unrequited love.

continuing on. in the car they asked if we would like a tour and of course we said yes. they took us to a small town nearby (cholulu?) where there was a large pyramid with a beautiful catholic church on top. apparently the spaniards tried to conquer everything when they came to puebla, including anything resmebling previous civilization. they didnt do the greatest job though because you could still see the stones of the pyramids, but they did quite a lot. we walked the quiet and dark path to the top of the pyramid and climbed the stairs (escolaras) to the church. the view was amazing. twinkling below us was the whole of a loud rambunctious city frequented by fireworks (still celebrating christmas?) and rushing traffic. me encanta.

we went to dinner after and for the first time in months i ate cheese, tomatoes, and bread. it was the best thing i can remember ever tasting (even now with all this sickness i don't regret eating wonderful normal food for a few days... scratch that, in this particular moment i don't regret it but i feel okay right now). then they were then going to drive us to our hostel but they offered us a place to stay.

in a quaint flat identical to every other flat on the block, i sat on a mattress wondering if every day in mexico would be filled with so much magic and so many blessings. janine, julie, and i laughed in disbelief at the fortunate events of the evening, and I, overcome with exhaustion, quickly fell sleep.

day 2
"we come from a place that rarely sees the horror in symmetry" -shane koyczan

driving through the winding cobblestone streets of Tlaxcala, trying to find our way to pyramids that were apparently nearby, the sights were amazing. the day before it had gotten dark far too quickly for me to see all this Mexican beauty, but now i was just drinking it in.

as for finding the pyramids, eduardo was having quite a hard time. in mexico asking for help is commonplace. (desculpa (excuse me) is a good word to know) eduardo asked for help from many people although im not sure whether it made things worse or was actually helpful. i'll never know.

janine was giving me spanish lessons as we drove.
she would say, "say, 'i am going to go to the bus station'"
i would think... for a long time and then spit out half the sentence
"yo voy a ir a la bus station"

then she would teach me the word for bus station...
then we'd start a new sentence. and so on and so forth.

(side note: emily ritz, try to imagine how hard this would be for me with my adhd/airhead tendancies... staring out the window at a new country and trying to THINK/speak at the same time- in another language- gahhhh ha ha)

finally we found the pyramids. christina was working and we were supposed to pick her up in about an hour but we were going to be late. we asked if she would be okay with waiting and eduardo said, "well she's a bit fresa". fresa is one of my new favourite words, it sort of means ditzy or girly and i feel (so far) like it applies to most girls i've met so far in this country.

we had lunch (okay so i just had a bite because i was confident i would get sick from eating a taco made at the side of the road by nice mexican ladies). i had my first taste of nopales (cactis) and LOVED it. muy rico (delicious)

and yes. we visited the 3 pyramids and mayan ruins at tlaxcala (i think that is where we were) and of course it was fabulous. to see the one pyramid we had to climb a near-mountain but the climb was enjoyable. and downright dusty. let's just say my new birkenstocks looked ancient like the pyramids by the time we got to the top.

we could see everything around us from top. we took a little rest at the top enjoying the warm sun then checked out a mini-museum of mayan artifacts that was near the pyramid. my favourite part of all of this was that there weren't many tourists and at one point we had the pyramid all to ourselves. it was quiet and puzzling and beautiful. i mean i had enough trouble climbing that mountain just myself, how could people have possibly lugged enough stones up there to build a gigantic pyramid? how long would it have taken to make this thing? why build it (i know it is a tomb, but why a 3d triangle thing, why not dig a huge hole or something)?

i was glad they did (build the pyramids) because you could feel the glory of the act beneath your feet. i wondered what God thought about it all. was he proud of these people for their patience and hard-work and perhaps, simplicity of life (dedicate your time in life to make a pyramid, that's ambitious and yet in a way, i think, simple...)?

back in the car i was exhausted so i napped. we visited downtown puebla, met some of eduardo and christina's friends, and went out to dinner as a group. for me this was quite a challenge. i was hungry because i hadn't had lunch and it was past 9 at night and i was ready to eat a lot. unfortunately this restaurant didnt believe in vegetarianism so all i could order was fruit; pineapple and watermelon. i also tried ordering granola with milk but they gave me a huge HUGE glass of milk with a little bit of granola blended in it. knowing the milk would make me sick, i didnt drink it and tackled the fruit.

i think they gave me half a pineapple! ... after about 1/4 of the fruit plate my mouth was extremely sore from the pineapple. i could feel little sores forming in my mouth and i tried to strategically eat it so it wouldnt hurt my mouth, but to no avail. needless to say, i finished the plate because i was hungry and i couldnt eat anything spicy/sour for the rest of the week with about 8 solid what-cha-ma-call-ems in my mouth (cotton mouth). the watery watermelon was a soothing addition to the cruel pineapple.

alas, i do not think pineapple is my favourite fruit anymore.

day 3

man i suck at spanish. obviously i suck, i've only taken 2 beginner courses... but i think i may have over estimated my abilities to understand. i dont understand a sentence of most conversations. saying goodbye to eduardo was a strange thing because i felt like i knew him quite a bit, but i had never really spoken to him. most of what i knew were things that janine had translated for me. and he didnt know anything about me. what a strange friendship to have!

this day was spent mostly on the bus. we had a few hours in veracruz, a coastal town, so we did some exploring. we stored our luggage at the bus station then took a bus to the beach.

the beach: garbage absolutely everywhere, seafood restaurants eager for customers, kids running around...

we walked the length of a long pier and did a little gazing out at the dark oceans and back at the twinkling western-looking city then returned to find our bus.

we then boarded a bus that through the night, carried us to san cristobal de las casas.

day 4
san cristobal de las casas is the most beautiful city i have even seen, with a most enchanting, puzzling population. of all the places i've been i would definately recommend this as a must see for anyone who enjoys travelling.
there are people offering you things to buy everywhere you turn. my first view of the city, when we were walking from the bus station to our hostel, was of an indigenous women carrying a whole chicken. a live chicken. ha. "wud-up, welcome to my city, meet joe the chicken..."
there are shoe-shiners, kids selling candy, and a million beautiful colourful things to buy (things that look remarkably mexican, however, i was informed by someone at our hostel that most things in the market are made in china. im not surprised.)
sometimes when you do not buy something (which is all i ever do) people glare at you angrily. it hurts and confuses me. i know these people are poor, i know that they need to sell these things to live, but i dont NEED anything! so i started saying "no lo necisito, gracias"-- "i dont need it, thanks" when people would offer me these things. i was sad that all i could be to them people was a failed customer and i longed to understand what went on behind their haunting big eyes. i have already decided that i will return to this place once i know spanish so that i can try to comprehend these beautiful indigenous people and their way of life. and so i can find the zapatistas.
in my development and underdevelopment class at u of g, i learned about the zapatistas and was so taken by them that i wrote an essay on them. for a background on the zapatistas here's a bit of the intro to that essay:

On January 1, 1994, a rebel group called the Zapatista National Liberation Army (EZLN) emerged from the Lacandon Jungle in Southern Mexico, to take over a series of towns in Mexico’s Southernmost state, Chiapas.  Mobilizing around political, social, and economic issue such as Mexico’s signing of the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA), the Zapatistas occupied the streets yelling, “Ya Basta”, “Enough!” provoking Mexico and all those watching to be reminded of the reality of an “ignored indigenous populace”.  Leader of the Zapatistas, Subcomandante Insurgente Marcos writes, “In our dreams we have seen another world, an honest world, a world decidedly more fair than the one in which we now live/ And in this world there was reason and goodwill in the government, and the leaders were clear-thinking people; they ruled by obeying”.

it is because of these people and their struggle that i was drawn to visit and live in mexico. while it is important that i go to guadalajara and learn spanish and understand mexico's dominant culture, my heart is here in the chiapas (the state of mexico where san cristobal is and where the zapatistas are).

in san cristobal there is evidence of the zapatistas in the writing on the walls. "resist", "no hay democracia" (there is no democracy), " "education for the poor"...

janine, julie, and i found our hostel (an amazing hostel with just as much colour and life as the rest of the city... and cheap too!) then we went to explore. we had breakfast, climbed to a church on the top of a hill, looked around at the beautiful city around us, stumbled upon an amazing orchid garden... etc.

then decided we would go on a horse-back riding tour.

for only 10 dollars canadian we went on a four hour tour on horseback through the mountains to a nearby indigenous village, chamula. we got off the horses at chamula and walked around the huge market there.

a fun fact from janine's "let's go mexico" guide:
"when coca-cola first introduced its flagship beverage to the residents of san juan chamula, the drink's bubbly after effect was said to release a person's sins from the body. the beverage continues to be a staple in chamulan religious practices."

ha ha weird eh?

we went back to the horses early and met a little girl that wanted to sell us something. we tried to just talk to her but she looked rather taken aback. i felt as though she was afraid we were going to hurt her, but julie told her we didnt want anything. we hung out with her and her little brother for a couple minutes, gave them 10 pesos for a picture, and then they went on their way. they were some of the most beautiful looking children ive ever met, but that encounter was so odd...

back on the horses.
i had forgotten how much i love horseback riding and when the horse broke out of his trot into something really fast (a canter? gallop? horse people help me out here!...) i felt holistically invigorated. i remember laughing and laughing almost hysterically because i was seriously having the time of my life.

they gave me a larger horse to ride on the way back and he was rather antsy. he always tried to be at the front of the pack, and he really really wanted to run. so i let him. wait. okay. so he probably wouldv'e run anyway... but all im saying is that i was all for it. run horsie run!

i had quite a bad headache by the time we got back to the hostel and had a nice long nap. i woke up and it was already 930, 930 on new years eve! we had been invited to a potluck with others from the hostel so janine and i cooked up some food and then at about 1130 we all met upstairs on the roof for the fiesta (of sorts). there were so many cool looking people there (yes, hippies) that i wished i could communicate with but i tried my best to be a wallflower and observe the smiles and laugher in the warm fire light. new years came quickly and i wished a bunch of strangers a feliz ano nuevo (happy new year). then janine and i climbed to the highest part of the roof and watched fireworks explode from every corner of the city.
some guy from the hostel was playing with fire baton things which was sweet so i also watched that for a while. we then went in the lounge. while janine had a long conversation with a guy in spanish i watched the fire, thought, and (perhaps creepily) did some people watching. it was a new years eve different than any i'd experienced before, but warm and cheery all the same.

day 5, jan.1
unsure what to do with ourselves on this day because most everything was closed, we decided to go to the "grutas de san cristobal" - caves. we took a combi there (big van/bus thing) and yup, the caves were pretty unbelievable. you could walk 750m deep into the heart of the rock on a walkway, it was neat-o. my favourite was the rock that looked like icicles coming down from the sides and ceiling of the caves.

we went back to the city, had lunch, and went to a mirador- a lookout. on the walk there i was again mesmerized by the millions of colours i was seeing. every building was several bright colours, and although some buildings were fairly weathered, everything looked fantastically beautiful. i had forgotten so many colours existed.

at night we went to a place that was showing a documentary about the zapatistas. (it reminded me a lot of the bookshelf in guelph) it was an excellent documentary and made me all the more intrigued about the place i was in...

yet another good day.

day 6, jan. 2
biking!
we rented bikes and rode to huitipec, an ecological reserve in the mountains. biking was quite challenging as the bikes we were given were not all that functional. they creaked and clicked as we went, but they got us there eventually.
the hike was quiet and beautiful. since i love hiking and biking, i was definitely in my element!
after the tiring excursion we had lunch at my, so far, most favourite mexican restaurant. it had vegetarian options! (so maybe not all that mexican... ha ha). It was called something like el gato gordo, fat cat. janine and i shared a vegetarian meal of soup, something i forget the name of, salad, rice and beans... then we had a crepe with fruit for desert. mmm!
later in the afternoon we packed up our stuff, said goodbye to the hostel of magic, and got on the bus that would take us to palenque and the JUNGLE!

the streets our bus took were nauseously windy.
our bus was held up for a while in god-knows-where because the police were questioning a dude from our bus so we didn't make it to Palenque until 1 in the morning.

when we got off the bus we looked at eachother... "what are we going to do?"

knowing that most hostels had probably closed we took a chance and got in a taxi to the one hostel we had wanted to stay at-- a hostel in the jungle. when we got there we couldnt find an open office (no surprise) but these people that were staying there were like, "there is one more bed in the dorm.. and we have a hammock! yes stay here."
so we payed the taxi driver and off he went.

these obviously inebriated and very excited folks invited us to go with them to this salsa dancing place nearby so we walked there. i had a mini salsa dancing lesson with this one guy and when i, slightly weirded out and mostly just tired, stopped dancing he said something that janine translated as "in mexico you have just made a very bad joke". i wasn't quite sure what that meant but i got the jist, so, well, I acted oblivious.

janine, julie, and i decided to go stargazing so we started walking back and then lay on the road staring at the stars. i dont think ive ever seen stars so bright! the stars of the jungle are brighter than any i've seen!

when we got back we got ready for bed
(ha which means nothing because we didnt know where the bathroom was, and i didnt have pjs because my luggage was lost... i had been sleeping in my jeans every single night. those who know me well know i do NOT sleep in jeans...before mexico i had never committed the atrocity- me wearing jeans in the day is enough of a stretch... but here i was, night 6, ready to sleep in jeans yet again. g-reat. but honestly, it wasnt as bad as i had made it out to be in my mind.)

i volunteered to sleep in the hammock and climbed in it to test out how comfortable it would be. after about 5 minutes something a bit unexpected happened...

the hammock fell and i landed on my back on cement. jolly good fun that was.

janine and i decided to try something a little more daring; we decided to sleep in the jungle! we took our towels, her sleeping bag, and my big scarf, said goodnight to julie, and ventured off into the jungle. we found a nicely hidden spot near a building and set up "camp".

i will never forget sleeping in the jungle.

the roaring started just as we were setting up our stuff. i swear my heart stopped. it sounded like a big hungry cat. we looked at eachother and said, "if that sounds any closer, we are moving..."

we lay down, and sure enough, it sounded louder. we lay on our bellies staring out into the dark forest, wondering what it was that was making that noise and how close it might be. we laughed loudly in disbelief, "we are truly in the jungle!!"

it was pure magic. surprisingly, we were able to fall asleep.

day 7+

luckily, we didnt get eaten by a leapord while we were sleeping. we got up early because we didnt want to be discovered hiding and sleeping in the jungle (i dont know why but i had an inkling that people might find that sketchy).

this day i got sick. i wish i had known i was going to get sick. i wouldve eaten plenty of goodness for breakfast and drank tons more water... maybe showered...

as we started our walk to the ruins of palenque i was already feeling drained.

climbing pyramids is exhausting business- especially when your body is about to get super duper sick on you. i took a nap on top of every pyramid i climbed (and there were a bunch). janine and i were napping on top of this one pyramid and this tour guide comes by and says, "here lies the mayan queen". it was funny.

i decided on top of a pyramid that the civilizations before ours, though not technologically advanced, were far superior when it comes to aesthetics and opulence. in fact, these pyramids make our civilization look pretty disgusting (which it is a lot of the time...).

walking back i was feeling oddly weak. we made it to the road and because i simply could not walk anymore, we took a bus back-- but we had to go into town first to eat lunch and buy our bus tickets for the next day. by the time we got to town i was in another world. i put my pounding head on the table all of lunch and waited, it will go away. i did the same while we were in the internet cafe buying our bus tickets. head down i hoped it would go away.

walking was excruciating. finally we made our way back to the hostel. i lay on the bed and didnt get up, except to use the washroom, until later the next day when we had to go catch our bus.

i had to say goodbye to janine and i was not ready to see her go. but she left and i stayed in the jungle to experience this strange sickness.

it was the strangest and most horrifying sickness i have ever had. i would sweat and sweat and sweat.. then i would get super cold and shake for about an hour... then do the whole thing over again. i shouldv'e gone to the doctor but i couldn't articulate anything. i could only lie in bed and sleep. when i opened my eyes everything i saw was a blur.

this continued for two days while julie and i took buses back to mexico city. when we got to mexico city we decided to taken separate buses to guadalajara so julie could get a student discount-- so i left 20 minutes before her, and she was to arrive 20 minutes after me.

i arrived. i waited. i waited some more. i waited two hours. i needed her to come because she had my span-english dictionary and the telephone number of the lady i was to stay with. i waited 4 hours. i needed her to come because i was sick and didn't know what to do with myself or where to go. i needed her to come.

a nice man who knew a little english helped me ask where her bus was and they informed me that her bus only goes to the station at the other end of the city. and its a big city.

i was alone. alone and afraid and sick. i decided to take a chance, the only thing i could do. i got in a taxi and had them take me to the address of the place i wanted to stay, the house that janine stayed in over the summer. not knowing if it would be okay, not knowing if anyone would be home... i took a leap of faith.

when i got there i said only what i know how to say into the intercom thinger "i am bethany, i am from canada, i am a friend of janine's... can i stay here?" luckily someone was home. i was greeted by the son of the lady who lives here. i smelled like shit because that's all id been doing for days (pardon me) and i know my tired eyes must have looked wild-- but he let me in the nonetheless. i cannot imagine what he must have thought of me.

so now here i am. its been about almost a week of recovery, laziness, exploring this place i am living (i call it the mexican suburbs) and, well, blogging... while still sick (ill spare you the details), i FEEL fine and dandy.

i got my bag finally. had to go to the airport to get it, but now i have my supplements. i am going today to live with a family that lives right by the language school i will be studying at. i made a deal with the lady who lives there to let me stay for pretty cheap because i said i didnt need much (i swear people here think you are the queen and want to give you the best of everything... if i told them all i wanted was a sleeping mat anywhere i bet they'd pee themselves laughing.)

i will be sharing a room with a 10 year old girl name Oliviera (or something like that). im pumped. the sister i never had.

ill be going to the doctor in a few days, and i can only hope he doesnt put me on antibiotics. but i cant forsee anything else happening so i guess i had better prepare myself.
(explanation: antibiotics mess with my stomach-- i have stomach problems and am trying to up the population of bacteria in my stomach so antibiotics counters this and in the long-run, does me harm)

yes, it WAS only pain. and while it hurts, what doesnt hurt?

i came to mexico knowing i am not a healthy person so when i got sick i wasnt surprised. i was surprised by a pain i had not felt before, but i was not surprised by the fact that i was sick.

i questioned what i was doing here, i've hit a low point- and now, at least i hope, i can only go up.

so here i am mexico. sitting in the room of a 17 year old girl who is absolutely smitten with the "jonas brother" (a god-awful boy band) and laughing at myself because i am now THAT funny foreign girl. here i am.

up up and away we go.